Friday, November 5, 2010

Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job! Live Tour @ McDonald Theatre

On Wednesday, November 3rd Eugene was graced by Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim at the McDonald Theatre. After pounding a few brews and watching a few episodes on I poured in the audience amongst countless nerds, pimples swelling in anticipation for the show to begin.

     Neil Hamburger, clad in a tuxedo and obnoxiously wrinkled bald cap and shellacked hair, opened the show with round after round of jokes so obscene, they could never be aired on the show. After Neil limped off stage, Tim and Eric, dressed in two glossy blue spandex suits and outrageous wigs, began the Chrimus special. After a few videos of favorite sketches, MCed by a digital David Liebe Hart (Salame), Tim and Eric had a few moments involving audience participation involving gags and making a mockery of those who had paid to knowingly be humiliated.
     Tim and Eric took a break to leave room for Dr. Steve Brule to interview a female member of the audience. In a similar format to popular dating shows of the '80's and 90's, Dr. Brule asked as many uncomfortable questions as possible before a consensual fondling occurred on stage. Commencing in a love song and slow dancing, the house lights brightened and intermission followed.
     The second half of the show could have been more diverse. Frank Black guest starred in PussWhip BangGang, a Tim and Eric's psychedelic band. After a few songs of airguitar and elaborate props, I was bored. I feel like the show is so ADDTV (Ever watch Adult Swim's Robot Chicken?) in its multitude of sketches crammed in each episode, holding an audience's attention for duration of an entire live program can be challenging.
     Tim and Eric came out for an encore and held a costume contest among the audience and thanked everyone for coming. They also sported a merchandise booth complete with items not available on . The show was an overall success, though probably diehard fans would only justify the twenty two dollar admissions fee.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Stuntin' on 4s, Swervin' on Dubs

Stuntin' on 4s, Swervin' on Dubs:
Student Rights Regarding Non-Motorized Vehicles on Campus 

Photo by William Thompson.

Instead of writing an erotic article on how to buy an efficient lock and use it erectly, I decided to spit in the wind regarding clues over skateboarder and bicyclist rights on campus and downtown. That lougie blew east of campus, caressing pavement and gravel, cascading over the rabble of rubber and urethane directly into the DPS building. DPS Captain Ed Rinne was kind enough to give me an interview. These are some of the answers to the questions I found about prosecutable and benign maneuvers on campus and downtown.

What is stunting? Stunting is defined as an "acrobatic maneuver" that is reckless or dangerous to those around you. Any attempt to appear graceful is prohibited by the all encompassing term stunting. Join the circus or get off campus.

What is illegal besides stunting? For bicycles and skateboards, riding on sidewalks is illegal. No shit. "No skating is allowed on walkways, sidewalks, loading docks, driveways, or access ramps unless specifically posted for this use."I asked Ed Rinne if these rules also applied to bikes and he confirmed that they did. Non-motorized vehicle traffic is limited to 13th, 15th, and University, excluding the majority of campus areas covered in concrete. I don't really understand the drastic differences between concrete and asphalt, especially when the majority of 13th and 15th streets on campus don't have a painted bike lane anyway.

In a rush? Riding off and up curbs also counts as stunting. This includes ollieing, powersliding, and wheels leaving contact with the pavement. Unless avoiding an emergency or an accident, drifting or powersliding is illegal on bike or board on campus.

AJ Harmes, toeslide 180. Photo by Mike Reiner.
What is the speed limit on campus? The speed limit on campus is 15 mph. However, skateboards don't have to obey this rule because: "All skate and skateboard users must obey campus stop, yield, and dismount signs." This doesn't include speed limit signs on campus, but skateboards cannot reach dangerous of reckless speeds. Both bicycles and skateboards have to yield to pedestrians, just like cars.

What counts as a complete stop? All four wheels coming to a stationary stop, straight up. If on a bike or a board this does not require dismounting. On an automobile a complete stop may be characterized by the dipping of the rear of the vehicle while its weight shifts.

Is a bicycle or skateboard defined as a motorized vehicle? No, vehicle laws do not apply to skateboards or bicycles unless specifically defined.

If an automobile hits a board/bike who is responsible? First, call EPD or DPS accordingly. If someone offers you cashmoney because they don't want to have the accident reported on their insurance or don't want the accident investigated by the police, consider that the cash they offer won't cover future medical problems you may incur from the accident. When I was hit by a car on Alder street last spring, I made this mistake, only to go to the hospital later in the day with bruised ribs and a concussion. At the time of the accident, my adrenaline fueled body was convinced I was fine. When EPD/DPS show up  to document the accident, they will investigate the scene, but only a judge can decide property damage and medical liability. Eventually, insurance will pay the victim for damages incurred.

If a board/bike hits a car or damages property who is responsible? The same guidelines apply here as listed in the question above. If no one is around to witness the damage, you are still responsible for exchanging contact information, such as leaving your information on the vehicle. This includes your name, address, and phone number.

George Heise, Heelslide 180. Photo by Mike Reiner.

If a car hits a bike/board and doesn't stop does this count as a hit and run? If you are struck by an automobile and they realize they hit you and don't stop, this counts as a hit and run. If you are injured a driver is also required to provide aid or assistance, such as driving you home, to a doctor, or hospital. A hit and run with injuries on the victim is an Oregon Class C felony punishable up to 5 years in prison and fines reaching $125,000. In some states, chemical testing on the driver is required within 12 hours of a hit and run.

What is specifically required with reflectors at night? Bikes can be ticketed if they do not have a working   headlight and a taillight at night, but skateboards can not. Its still a good idea to remain the most visible at all times with reflectors or lights. Just don't forget to secure them before parking your bike on campus.

What's a PUI? Pedaling or skating under the influence is no difference in charges than a Driving Under the Influence or a DUI.

How does the DPS encourage riding safety and helmet advocacy? DPS puts on workshops regarding safe biking and encourages everyone to wear helmets when riding. In the words of Captain Ed Rinne: "Be respectful with one another and ride or skate in a safe manner."

What are some campus and Oregon codes associated with biking and skateboarding?
 - Failing to yield to a pedestrian: $29.00 (even if they're mobbing 5 deep on their cellphones in the middle of 13th when the sidewalk is emptier than the street..)
- Failing to dismount and walk: $20.00
- Skating in a building or structure: $29.00
- Acrobatic or stunt skating: $34.00
- Failure to stop or yield: Class B traffic violation: $300
- DUI (1st offense, skating; biking): Diversion possible. Jail time: 48 hours minimum to a year. Fines: $1000 minimum, $2000 if BAC .15 or above. License suspension up to one year. Mandatory participation in alcohol/drug treatment program and victim impact panel. Other incurred DUI fees: $300.

In the words of David Banner, "Stunting is a habit. Get like me! Ever see a Chevy with butta'fly doors?"